Any blog worth reading has some vulnerability and honesty to it. We've taken a few steps back in the mommy-daughter bonding and adjustment journey. These setbacks are due to the weaknesses and sin in my own heart. I could try to justify them and chalk it up to jet lag, emotional overload, adjustment to a family of five, a sick baby...but it wouldn't be true. Joni has been fussy, unwilling to try new food, not making eye contact, wanting me yet backing away from any affection, and mostly inactive with a constant look of distress on her face. It reminds me of the first few days we had her except that those first few days she really displayed that she needed me. I guess I thought also that once she was around Colston and Oakley she would just click with them and it would relax her and help her personality to come out. Unfortunately she's treating them like she did Scott in the beginning. I can see now that China was a honeymoon of sorts. When I could devote myself to just adoring her she soaked it up, now that I have to be "mom" and do things that she doesn't like (wiping noses, taking temperatures, giving baths, giving medicine...all these elicit cries that sound dramatic and forced to me) she is resenting me. With my other children who I cared for from the womb there was already a strong emotional foundation on which to build on. They intrinsically trusted that whatever I was doing was for their good, even if they didn't like it. Joni I sense doesn't believe that yet. She still thinks it's up to her to take her of herself. When you have children you expect to see independence assertion but like at around 12, not 14 months. In all honesty it is hard to care for an autonomous baby.
But sweet Joni is just a product of her situation. She DID have to look out for herself and she DOESN'T know that I can be trusted to be in charge of her ultimate good. Additionally I really think that Joni by nature is not a person who likes change. Can you imagine what stress and sadness that a transition like this brings for that type of person? So how come instead of having a heart of compassion and grace I am getting frustrated and exasperated? Because I am weak and selfish and impatient. I want to fast forward to the part where Joni has let all her walls down and accepted our love. I want to see some initiation of affection on her part so that I can feel that fulfillment of being her mommy and get some affirmation that I'm doing a good job. Isn't that pathetic? God is sifting out the wicked things in my heart and showing me just how bankrupt I am without Him.
So today I began the day asking Him to give me the grace, the compassion, the mercy, the patience, the kindness that only He can give. I am looking to see how He pours all of these things on me so that I can give them out to my family. And guess what? Today has been a better day.
A life a faith is so simple yet so difficult, made difficult by a will unwilling to surrender and look to daddy for help. So I guess Joni and I aren't so different after all.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
We're Home!
After a six hour bus ride to Hong Kong, a 15 hour plane ride from Hong Kong to Newwark, and a two hour drive from Newark to Glen Spey, we are HOME! What a blessing to come home to a clean house with a kitchen fully stocked (thank you Grandma and Grandpa!) and two bouquets of fresh flowers (thank you Lake Champion family and the Alperns!). I cannot describe how wonderful it was to be together again. Joni has been really sick the last three days (cold, bad chest cough, and high fevers) so please continue to pray for her. Gotta run, Colston just got up!
I'll try to continue to post through our adjustment process and post pictures. Thanks again for all your love, prayer and support!
I'll try to continue to post through our adjustment process and post pictures. Thanks again for all your love, prayer and support!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wed. and Thurs.
Yesterday was another day of being on our own for entertainment. After a group picture Scott and I caught a cab to the new part of the city and just walked around. If you are planning a trip soon I suggest researching things to do in your province and Guangzhou. Then on your free time you can just go to the concierge and they will write down your desired destination on a card that you can give to a cab driver. Cabs are so cheap here it's great. I pretty much knew what to expect on this trip but I didn't realize how much free time we'd have and also didn't expect the awful weather. So we've been pretty bored. Scott was pacing the room like a tiger in a cage the other night. I'm content to be in the room and read/watch movies but even I'm getting a little antsy. Thankfully we leave for Hong Kong this afternoon on a van with the other families. I think it's about a three hour drive and we should arrive by 7pm. It's a very cool city but this doesn't give us much time to explore (Joni goes to bed at 8pm). I'll probably encourage Scott to venture out on his own since I've already seen it. Then early Friday morning we fly home! I'm not looking forward to the 15 hour flight with a baby on my lap but I am looking forward to going home.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
switching it up
I have to admit that this is not my thing. Normally Lynne is in charge of the family posts. Today (Tuesday) we had a free morning. At 2:15 we met as a group and headed to the visa office at the American Consulate. After our raised right hand oath taking we went as a group to the "new" center city of Guangzhou. We saw the sight of the 2010 Asia games, as well as many more new buildings and scenic sights that were built just for these games. We enjoyed it so much, we are thinking of checking out the area again tomorrow. We have less than 48 hours left in Guangzhou, and another 18 or so in Hong Kong. The end is in sight, and that is exciting. It is hard to believe that almost 5 years of life has been focused on this two week process. This is a time we have prayed about, cried about and fought about as a couple. Now it is here, and it is almost done. We are so blessed to have this new little one in our lives. I love her so much, even though she doesn't really like me. I know it will come in time. We have seen her change so much in these last 10 days. Her personality is starting to come out. We have been sharing with Joni about all her family members and people who are in her life. The introduction of Joni and her sister and brother excites me most. I foresee Oakley taking care of her like a little doll and Colston tackling her. Maybe I shouldn't have bought him a sword? It has been a lot of fun buying gifts for freinds and family. We had so many dear people support us in this journey. Trying to locate the proper small tokens of our appreciation for everyone, has been an adventure. I keep weighing the suitcases to make sure we are under 50lbs. I'd hate to have to pay extra after I spent so much time and energy haggling for the price I wanted.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday
More shopping this afternoon but we are officially done with all of that. It was fun for a little while but just like back home I get tired of it quickly. Plus we're out of spending money. We just keep saying how we are bringing home the best thing in China anyways. The dry weather continued today and we are grateful for that. Joni seemed to take a step back with daddy today. We have no idea why but she was really fearful/frettful when he came near to her in the hotel room, though she was fine when he held her outside. I think this is normal in the bonding process but it makes me sad to see that she still doesn't understand how much her daddy adores her. He has a good attitude about it, maybe I will get him to post tomorrow. I know everyone would like to hear from him.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday's Events
It's 7:30 am here in Guangzhou. The good news is yesterday there was no rain and it was actually bright for a time. Most of our paperwork/tasks for the adoption are complete until we go to pick up her US Visa. So we spent the day shopping at Shamain Island (a small island that used to be occupied by French/British that has all the touristy markets, western buildings, & food). After Joni's nap we explored this huge park near out hotel. It might even be bigger then Central Park. It was very beautiful and I hope to go back again before we leave. Scott and I clocked a lot of miles on foot and since Joni freaks out in the stroller I held her in my front carrier. She's only 18 lbs. but after a while even that gets heavy so please pray for my back. Thankfully she feels comfortable with Scott holding her now so we cane take turns. Today we do some more shopping but I'm not sure what else we have planned. Although we are trying to enjoy each minute here in this wonderful country, we are really missing home and our family. I wish the kids could be here with us but I know this time devoted solely to Joni is really beneficial to her. It is best she bonds with both of us and feels comfortable in our care before we bring her into the craziness of Oakley and Colston sibling-love.
Still we are feeling ready to leave and look forward to the day we are all snuggling together on our couch at home.
Still we are feeling ready to leave and look forward to the day we are all snuggling together on our couch at home.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Getting to Know Her
Today we went to get Joni's Visa photos and conduct her medical exam. Like all the children she hated being touched and looked at by strangers but all in all it wasn't too traumatic. Afterwards went went shopping for baby items and then in the late afternoon Scott reported to our guide's room where he filled out all the needed US Visa paperwork (I had to stay back for Joni's nap). Tonight we had a big group dinner at the Japanese restaurant and got to have have sushi two nights in a row!
Joni continues to bond and blossom. We are beginning to figure her out, so far we've learned that....she DOES NOT like strollers (probably had never been in one before yesterday), she likes animal crackers, she does not like fruit, she likes oatmeal, she does not like getting her diaper changed, she likes combing her own hair, she does not like her bath, she likes snuggling, she does not like ice cream or lollipops, she does like zerberts and being tickled. It has been so neat to discover these things and there is do much more to come!
Joni continues to bond and blossom. We are beginning to figure her out, so far we've learned that....she DOES NOT like strollers (probably had never been in one before yesterday), she likes animal crackers, she does not like fruit, she likes oatmeal, she does not like getting her diaper changed, she likes combing her own hair, she does not like her bath, she likes snuggling, she does not like ice cream or lollipops, she does like zerberts and being tickled. It has been so neat to discover these things and there is do much more to come!
Friday, February 18, 2011
My Hero
Yesterday we went to the Guangzhou Zoo, watched cheesy 80's movies (for some reason that is all HBO plays here), and I got sushi for dinner. Sounds like a normal day but some pretty amazing stuff happened along the way. I've heard that Joni's orphanage is filled with mostly special needs children, some pretty severe. I'd imagine a sweet, laid-back child like her got overlooked and assumptions were made that since her SN isn't severe that she was doing fine. I can see though that Joni wasn't doing fine. Joni doesn't know how to receive or give true love. Even when I observed her with the caregivers I could tell they required her to perform in order to get their adulation. When Joni came to us if we made direct eye contact with her she would look down. When she was afraid (which generally meant when Scott came close) she would hold her arm over her face and make her self comforting sucking sound or itch her face and neck. She arched her back when we held her. She didn't smile or make any noises. Her cries were few and pathetic, as if she had no expectation that they would elicit any response from us. She did not express one need or want. She could not feed herself Cheerios. I realize some of this was due to the transition but I really believe some of this is due to the fact she has never known the consistent and unconditional love of a parent. In just five days of having us she is like a flower blooming before our eyes. Joni laughed for the first time yesterday. Before when I tickled her she would smile but make no noise, it was very strange. Now she laughs. Joni more then a few times crawled over to me to be on my lap. I spent a whole hour just holding her like an infant as she looked at me and I stroked her hands/face/legs/tummy/arms. It occurred to me that she had never had this experience before as I doubt any nanny had one hour to devote solely to holding her. Joni said the word, "da da" and "ma" and I think the Chinese word for nose. These were the first vocalizations we heard. Joni let her daddy hold her and even gave him a few half smiles for his efforts during playtime. These are big advancements and they are happening so quickly when you take in all she has been through. She really is amazing and my hero.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Qingyuan Social Welfare Institute Visit
So we went to the Qingyuan City SWI today. It took a little over an hour by car. We took pictures of the outside of the building, which is very large and actually a series of buildings and courtyards. Although it is a rainy day today you can tell it's a bright and good facility. They escorted us into a conference room and the two male directors spoke to us about the orphanage (that it was built in 1998, there are over 90 staff, there are plans to move into a new facility (I got pictures of those buildings as well), just stuff like that. They offered us fruit and tea. Then the head caretaker lady (didn't get her name) came in and tried to answer our questions (frankly, I wish I could have gotten more detailed information). But the real gem was that a half dozen or so nannies came down and boy did Joni's face light up! She was obviously loved by the staff and had a very special bond with one of the "half the sky" grannies who just got her to smile and laugh and do rhyming and motion games. It was really neat to see Joni in this mood and see her at her most happy. I almost would have been convinced that she was better off with them except for the fact no matter who had her she strained to look for me and came back to me very easily. No tears after our goodbyes. We got a lot of great photos and videos of her with the caretakers. They kept saying how "lovely" and "smart" she is, we couldn't agree more.
Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to go into any other rooms or see any other children. They gave the excuse that the kids were all napping and they didn't want to pass germs. I was really hoping to meet some of her friends and see were she lived her first year of life. So although the trip has some disappointments, there were enough highlights to make it worth the time and money.
I wasn't as emotional as I thought I might be. Maybe it was because I didn't get to see the faces of those children left behind. Maybe it was because of the inner joy it brought me to see that Joni preferred going with us. The most emotional I felt was seeing Joni's sweet face when her special "grandma" came out and played with her. I was so grateful that she was loved by someone. I also thought about how hard it must be for these caretakers to invest their efforts and love onto each child and see them leave, knowing they won't remember them or anything about their native land. It's a job that requires a lot of sacrifice to do well.
All in all I got more smiles, giggles, and snuggles from Joni today. Scott is making slow progress but still has a good attitude. Secretly I am glad to have this time with her when I don't have to share her (or myself) with anyone.
Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to go into any other rooms or see any other children. They gave the excuse that the kids were all napping and they didn't want to pass germs. I was really hoping to meet some of her friends and see were she lived her first year of life. So although the trip has some disappointments, there were enough highlights to make it worth the time and money.
I wasn't as emotional as I thought I might be. Maybe it was because I didn't get to see the faces of those children left behind. Maybe it was because of the inner joy it brought me to see that Joni preferred going with us. The most emotional I felt was seeing Joni's sweet face when her special "grandma" came out and played with her. I was so grateful that she was loved by someone. I also thought about how hard it must be for these caretakers to invest their efforts and love onto each child and see them leave, knowing they won't remember them or anything about their native land. It's a job that requires a lot of sacrifice to do well.
All in all I got more smiles, giggles, and snuggles from Joni today. Scott is making slow progress but still has a good attitude. Secretly I am glad to have this time with her when I don't have to share her (or myself) with anyone.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A Rainy Wed. in China
Another low key day today. We were able to sleep in for the first time and after breakfast we went on an outing. We took a cab (that cost less then 2$ for a 15 min. ride) to the Chen Family Home, which is a fully restored ancestral home with a relic museum inside of it. It was pretty cool and a perfect thing to do in the rain. We met back up with our guide and the other AW family to go a different government building so we could apply for Joni's Chinese passport. That is the last of the adoption paperwork tasks we have until Friday. We ordered Papa John's pizza tonight along with the other AW family and ate together in their hotel room. It was Joni's first play date! She is doing well though I felt it was a one step forward, two steps back kind of day. I was really able to get some laughs out of her and discovered she can (and likes to) walk holding one hand. But I felt for most of the day that she was pretty sad and still scared. I just wish I knew what was going on in that head of hers. My mommy's heart aches for her to feel secure and loved by us both and to be able to take away any anxiety. I know that it will come with time.
Tomorrow we take a trip to visit her orphanage. I have no idea what to expect but I'm grateful for the opportunity.
Thank you all for your comments here on the blog, on Facebook, texts, and e-mails...it really encourages Scott and I so much to feel all your support. A quick shout out to a few people...Happy Birthday to Aunt Stacey, can't wait to see you at the airport...thanks Uncle Keify for posting all the pics!.....Meg, I hope to give your daughter a big HUG and KISS from you, I'll be sure to whisper in her ear that her family loves her very much and will come to get her soon!.....Maureen, thanks for your advice, I did cut the hole bigger and it helped.
Blessings to you all!
Tomorrow we take a trip to visit her orphanage. I have no idea what to expect but I'm grateful for the opportunity.
Thank you all for your comments here on the blog, on Facebook, texts, and e-mails...it really encourages Scott and I so much to feel all your support. A quick shout out to a few people...Happy Birthday to Aunt Stacey, can't wait to see you at the airport...thanks Uncle Keify for posting all the pics!.....Meg, I hope to give your daughter a big HUG and KISS from you, I'll be sure to whisper in her ear that her family loves her very much and will come to get her soon!.....Maureen, thanks for your advice, I did cut the hole bigger and it helped.
Blessings to you all!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Feb. 15th Post
Today was a chill day. We got up, Skyped with the family back home (it was SO good to see my two babies at home) and introduced them to the newest member, and went to breakfast. Joni is not so adventurous when it comes to eating. I can tell her diet was limited to formula, rice cereal (which they mix into the formula and put into a bottle) and congee (a rice soup). She has decided that Cheerios are yummy and yogurt puffs, but didn't really go for the fruit. I'm going to keep trying though because we need to fatten her up, she's more like a six month old then an almost 14 months old. After breakfast we went back to the Civil Affairs office to finish up some paperwork and conduct our interviews with the provincial adoption officials and the notary. The questions were easy and the atmosphere laid back, nothing to worry about for all of you who are adopting soon. Our guide here in Guangzhou is named Lee. She is nice and very competent. After we got back we had nothing else planned on the schedule. Since the weather is yucky out (40s and raining) and Joni has some congestion, we decided to just stay in and take it easy. She is so good at just playing by herself with a few toys. She sits up and does a type of crawling to get around (on her feet not her knees) but no walking or standing on her own yet. She's VERY quiet so far, hardly makes a noise. I gave her a bath today but she wasn't very keen on it. She allowed Scott to hold and touch her today as long as I was close, but then later got upset when he sat beside her on the bed. Still, I think we are making progress. We also got a few more smiles and giggles out of her, our Joni is ticklish!
Praise and Prayer: She is taking her bottle although it doesn't exactly look like she's enjoying it much, she pooped today!, she's warming slowly up to Scott / pray for her congestion, she seems to have an itchy rash on her upper back and side of her face, she still wakes up upset like it hits her again what has happened to her
Praise and Prayer: She is taking her bottle although it doesn't exactly look like she's enjoying it much, she pooped today!, she's warming slowly up to Scott / pray for her congestion, she seems to have an itchy rash on her upper back and side of her face, she still wakes up upset like it hits her again what has happened to her
Monday, February 14, 2011
My Valentine
Joni is finally with us! In fact she's asleep right here next to me. I am in awe of how smoothly yesterday went. After getting off the plane into Guangzhou we had only like 15min. to quick check-in and get all our stuff ready (gifts, money, documents, baby stuff , cameras, emotional fortitude) and head to the Civil Affairs Office where we knew our daughters were waiting for us. We are here with another family who is also adopting a daughter from this province. Our nerves and excitement were through the roof as we drove there and when we finally got upstairs we were ushered into this bright room with about 10 other couples who had already received their children. Babies were crying everywhere and parents looked happy, some overwhelmed, but mostly happy. The other AW family went first and I was caught up in the magic of their reunion when they brought out Joni (Yayan for now). She was SO adorable bundled up in SIX (yes six, and mind you it's 50 degrees here) layers of clothing. She came right to me and didn't cry, though you could see she was very scared and wondering what was going on. I just held her and kissed her and starred at her and felt such a wave of gratitude. Although there was chaos around me I felt like I was in my own little world with my new baby girl. She was so brave! I brought a few things to play with but she wasn't really interested. When she was passed to me she was clutching these foil wrapped snacks and I got a half smile out of her when I pretended to take them away. We had to fill out and sign some paperwork, it was all very easy. Then we drove to a store to get some baby supplies. When we got to the hotel she just sat and played on my bed but as the night wore on I think the gravity of the situation was setting in and she started to feel more insecure. She is afraid of Scott and keeps her eye on him. If he comes close her eyebrow furrows and the most pathetic expression comes to her face. He is being so patient though and admires her from afar. She is VERY cute, a real peanut. There is a scale in our room so I will try to weight her later. After unsuccessfully trying to get her to take a bottle or a late nap, I just played and cuddled with her on the bed until she fell asleep around 8pm. I am so pleased that it seems like she receives comfort from her mommy and the few (as in two) times she started to cry I was able to calm her right down. I eventually transferred her to her crib (not that I wanted to but I figured she might sleep better that way) and she woke up in the middle of the night. I pulled her back out to snuggle with her though I bet she would have gone back to sleep on her own (she does this self comfort thing where she puts her hand in front of her mouth and makes a sucking noise, it's both sad and cute). Basically, I am totally in love and can't wait to spend more time with her today, discovering her personality and who she is.
Prayer requests: That she takes a bottle and food from me today (she seemed excited to get one but after tasting it gave me a, "what the heck is this?" look), that she poops, that the weather warms up, that she starts to let Scott in and that he doesn't get discouraged. Thank you, I just feel God blessing us each step of this journey so please keep the praying up!
Prayer requests: That she takes a bottle and food from me today (she seemed excited to get one but after tasting it gave me a, "what the heck is this?" look), that she poops, that the weather warms up, that she starts to let Scott in and that he doesn't get discouraged. Thank you, I just feel God blessing us each step of this journey so please keep the praying up!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Day 3 Summary and Pre-baby Thoughts
It's 5:30am here in Beijing. I woke up at 3:45am and couldn't go back to sleep once my brain remembered that today is the day we get Joni. Yesterday was another packed but wonderful day. We attended a Sunday morning church service at Beijing International Christian Fellowship. You had to show your passport at the door because only ex-pats/visitors allowed, no Chinese nationals. It was conducted in English but there were peoples of all nationalities present. I recognized most of the songs and Pastor Davis preached on recognizing and being a part of ushering in the kingdom. I have a feeling I am going to feel that presence of God and His kingdom very acutely today. Afterwards we drove out to a Jade factory, enjoyed a traditional lunch (complete with a shot of the local liquior, a version of rice wine that was 56% proof...burned my mouth and throat and I think I grew a chest hair). Then on to the Great Wall. It was my second time being on it and yet I was still amazed at this man-made wonder. Again we had a cold day. The government apparently seeded the clouds and caused it to snow the night before. They think the moisture helps to prevent illnesses or maybe it is for agricultural purposes, or maybe that's just a bunch of made up talk. Who knows? We didn't climb very high (Denise I only made it far as last time but I wanted to get to where you had...I guess I should start working out for next time). The air was so cold it made you cough to breath deep. We had an early dumpling dinner and then attended an acrobatic show. WOW, that was the only thing that could have possibly kept me awake until 8:30pm. Truly amazing stuff and you can tell they've trained hard for their entire lives.
I have to go now. We leave in five minutes to go downstairs and catch a plane to Guangzhou. We could receive Joni anytime upon arriving at our next hotel. We're about to step in to a whole new phase of our life and completely change the dynamic of our family. I don't feel too nervous yet. Just very excited and jittery. It's all in His hands. I will try to post and put up pictures ASAP but I'm not sure when that opportunity will come.
Here we GO!!!!!
I have to go now. We leave in five minutes to go downstairs and catch a plane to Guangzhou. We could receive Joni anytime upon arriving at our next hotel. We're about to step in to a whole new phase of our life and completely change the dynamic of our family. I don't feel too nervous yet. Just very excited and jittery. It's all in His hands. I will try to post and put up pictures ASAP but I'm not sure when that opportunity will come.
Here we GO!!!!!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Day Two in Beijing
Once again I am posting in a state of exhaustion so please forgive me if I don't make much sense. Today was a very full and very fun day. We toured Tienanmen Square, the Forbidden City, and Summer Palace. Additionally we went shopping at a pearl factory, silk factory, and participated in a traditional tea ceremony. We had a wonderful breakfast buffet, a traditional Chinese lunch and a Beijing duck dinner. I loved it all and learned so much. It was however VERY cold, very, very cold. With the optimism of our guide and group members, we all still enjoyed it and made the best of it. I'm really beginning to appreciate each family in our travel group. It is such a neat experience to be with people who share your passions and who have gone through similar things in the last five years in regards to adoption. Each journey is both unique and shared and I never tire of hearing how people came to the decision of adoption. What strikes me most is that we are all so different..moms ranging from my age (34) to a fifty year old, three first time parents and one with seven biological children at home, couples from as far as Texas, representing all different denominations...these things makes me realize that you don't need to be special to adopt. You don't have to fit a profile or have prior knowledge/experience. You just need to be willing to let God take you where He wants you to go. Willing to open your heart. I'm so glad Scott and I were willing and that in less then 48 hours we will be able to embrace our blessing and be a part of a miracle where a child transitions from an orphan to daughter/sister/granddaughter/cousin/niece. Today I found myself tearing up at random moments or feeling my stomach flutter with anticipation...we are SO close.
Friday, February 11, 2011
We're here in Beijing!
We've arrived safe and sound. The plane ride was long but we filled it with movies, music, eating, reading and sleeping. Can't complain since we had an extra seat between us...thank you God. Our travel group members seem really nice and our guide Sherry seems amazing! She's very funny and sweet and I want to adopt her as well. After we checked in we walked around a bit and shopped at a Walmart equivalent for some snacks and then ate dinner at Pizza Hut. Don't judge, we are eating nothing but authentic Chinese food for the next couple of days and also we didn't have a guide with us so it was the safe and smart option.
I'm sure your (whoever you are) looking for some profound, emotive post about how we will be meeting our third child in less then 48 hours but honestly we are both beyond exhaustion. Must sleep now.
Keep those prayers coming, bless you all!
Lynne
I'm sure your (whoever you are) looking for some profound, emotive post about how we will be meeting our third child in less then 48 hours but honestly we are both beyond exhaustion. Must sleep now.
Keep those prayers coming, bless you all!
Lynne
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tomorrow we leave...
Our trip officially begins tomorrow at 7am when our friend Amy drives us to Newark airport. Our bags are packed, the fridge/freezer is stocked with food, the house is mostly clean, and a folder of caretaker information is complete. Now all that is left to do is go bring our daughter home! Oakley prayed the other night just like this..."thank you God for the earth, for the lakes and the rivers, and the people, and the China people, and thank you for giving us a Chinese baby." I expressed how much her prayer blessed me and then she said she had more..."please Lord give all the Chinese babies parents and a big sister and little brother." It was a very sweet moment. In all my fears about my kids adjustment to a new adopted sibling God has been moving silently to prepare their hearts. I know things could still be rough when we get home but the very fact that He is sowing the seed of compassion for orphans in my daughter's heart is very encouraging to me. She never prays like this (usually it's me praying and her adding something about God healing a boo-boo of hers). As much as I love my daughter, compassion has not really been her strong point. She's well...a little self-centered. I was worried she would never understand our decision to bring this stranger who gets a lot of attention into our home. But I see now that this adoption process is already starting to produce good fruit in all of us. I'm so grateful and my faith has been increased...and we haven't even left yet.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Prayer Requests
THURS. Feb. 10th : Pray for safe travels as we drive two hours to the airport and fly to Beijing on a 14 hour plane trip. Pray for good weather so that there will be no delays. Pray for Kathy and Amy as they care for Oakley and Colston here at home.
FRI. Feb 11th : Pray for our America World travel group as we bond and get to know the other eight adoptive families. My hope is we will be a supportive, encouraging group and positive US representatives. Pray for safe travel for Lynne’s parents driving up from VA.
SAT. Feb 12th : Pray for our guides (Chinese nationals) who will be taking us to Tienanmen Square and The Forbidden City. Their names are Lineker and Sherry.
SUN. Feb 13th : We get an amazing opportunity to worship at an international church. Pray that we see and are changed by the glory of God reflected in creation through the different nationalities. As the group tours the Great Wall pray that our energy levels would continue and the time adjustment would be complete before we meet our children.
MON. Feb 14th : Pray for safe flights from Beijing to Guangzhou (the very south of China). Today at some point we will meet and gain temporary custody of Joni. This will be an emotional moment for her, us and possibly the nanny that brought her. Pray that Christ will meet all of us in the grieving and rejoicing process. Pray for safe travels for Scott’s parents as they drive down from Syracuse.
Tues. Feb 15th : Pray that God would begin supernaturally bonding parents and baby. That a strong sense of healthy attachment would begin. Pray for patience, understanding, and strength as we help our daughter through her grief.
Wed. Feb 16th : Pray for the small details like being able to blog, weather, organization of documents, sleep at night, finding things Joni likes to eat, etc.
Thurs. Feb 17th : Pray for the health of everyone, including Oakley and Colston. In particular pray for no headaches for Lynne and no stomach issues for Scott.
Fri. Feb 18th : Pray for Oakley, Colston and the grandparents. It is now over a week since we left them and both they and we are missing them. Pray that they would behave for their caretakers and feel comfortable communicating their needs. Pray also for the grandparents that they would have the energy and patience to get through each day.
Sat. Feb. 19th : Pray a special blessing on all those who’ve supported us through this process including our family, friends, LC family, Grace Fellowship family, online adoption forums, America World family, and Show Hope.
Sun. Feb 20th : As children grieve and attempt to bond with their new parents it is common that they attach (physically and emotionally) to only one at first. Please pray for the one parent experiencing rejection and the other parent who might not be able to even go to the bathroom alone.
Mon. Feb 21st : Please pray that as we take trips to the orphanage and founding area that we can gather as much information about Joni’s past as possible. Pray for open doors and helpful people.
Tues. Feb 22nd : Please devote this day of prayer for Joni’s birth family. Especially her birth mother who probably carries an unspoken emotional wound and was pressured to abandoned by her husband/elders. Pray that she would come to know a person named Jesus who loves her unconditionally so that Joni may one day meet her in heaven (if not sooner).
Wed. Feb. 23rd : At this point we are likely ready and anxious to be home. Pray that we would finish the race strong and still look to be loving and serving to others. We want God to help us appreciate each minute spent in this amazing place and the two-on-one time devoted to Joni.
Thurs. Feb 24th : Please pray for Joni’s transition into our family as she takes on new roles of daughter,
sister, niece, and granddaughter. Pray for acceptance by Oakley and Colston and that they would not feel displaced or overlooked. Help all of us be patient and serving as God molds us into a family that depends on Him. Pray for our journey by road from Guangzhou to Hong Kong.
Fri. Feb 25th : We come HOME! Pray for the 15 and half hour plane ride and two hour drive with a 14 mo. Old who we don’t know and doesn’t know us. I am dreading this. Pray also for Aunt Stacey as she drives up from Balt. A few days earlier and drive out to pick us up at the airport. Please PRAISE the Lord for all the good things He has done. He has been faithful throughout the long 5 year process and His heart for the orphan has been reflected in Joni’s adoption.
Finally, if Joni ever crosses your heart in the future, please pray for all her Chinese brothers and sisters left behind.
FRI. Feb 11th : Pray for our America World travel group as we bond and get to know the other eight adoptive families. My hope is we will be a supportive, encouraging group and positive US representatives. Pray for safe travel for Lynne’s parents driving up from VA.
SAT. Feb 12th : Pray for our guides (Chinese nationals) who will be taking us to Tienanmen Square and The Forbidden City. Their names are Lineker and Sherry.
SUN. Feb 13th : We get an amazing opportunity to worship at an international church. Pray that we see and are changed by the glory of God reflected in creation through the different nationalities. As the group tours the Great Wall pray that our energy levels would continue and the time adjustment would be complete before we meet our children.
MON. Feb 14th : Pray for safe flights from Beijing to Guangzhou (the very south of China). Today at some point we will meet and gain temporary custody of Joni. This will be an emotional moment for her, us and possibly the nanny that brought her. Pray that Christ will meet all of us in the grieving and rejoicing process. Pray for safe travels for Scott’s parents as they drive down from Syracuse.
Tues. Feb 15th : Pray that God would begin supernaturally bonding parents and baby. That a strong sense of healthy attachment would begin. Pray for patience, understanding, and strength as we help our daughter through her grief.
Wed. Feb 16th : Pray for the small details like being able to blog, weather, organization of documents, sleep at night, finding things Joni likes to eat, etc.
Thurs. Feb 17th : Pray for the health of everyone, including Oakley and Colston. In particular pray for no headaches for Lynne and no stomach issues for Scott.
Fri. Feb 18th : Pray for Oakley, Colston and the grandparents. It is now over a week since we left them and both they and we are missing them. Pray that they would behave for their caretakers and feel comfortable communicating their needs. Pray also for the grandparents that they would have the energy and patience to get through each day.
Sat. Feb. 19th : Pray a special blessing on all those who’ve supported us through this process including our family, friends, LC family, Grace Fellowship family, online adoption forums, America World family, and Show Hope.
Sun. Feb 20th : As children grieve and attempt to bond with their new parents it is common that they attach (physically and emotionally) to only one at first. Please pray for the one parent experiencing rejection and the other parent who might not be able to even go to the bathroom alone.
Mon. Feb 21st : Please pray that as we take trips to the orphanage and founding area that we can gather as much information about Joni’s past as possible. Pray for open doors and helpful people.
Tues. Feb 22nd : Please devote this day of prayer for Joni’s birth family. Especially her birth mother who probably carries an unspoken emotional wound and was pressured to abandoned by her husband/elders. Pray that she would come to know a person named Jesus who loves her unconditionally so that Joni may one day meet her in heaven (if not sooner).
Wed. Feb. 23rd : At this point we are likely ready and anxious to be home. Pray that we would finish the race strong and still look to be loving and serving to others. We want God to help us appreciate each minute spent in this amazing place and the two-on-one time devoted to Joni.
Thurs. Feb 24th : Please pray for Joni’s transition into our family as she takes on new roles of daughter,
sister, niece, and granddaughter. Pray for acceptance by Oakley and Colston and that they would not feel displaced or overlooked. Help all of us be patient and serving as God molds us into a family that depends on Him. Pray for our journey by road from Guangzhou to Hong Kong.
Fri. Feb 25th : We come HOME! Pray for the 15 and half hour plane ride and two hour drive with a 14 mo. Old who we don’t know and doesn’t know us. I am dreading this. Pray also for Aunt Stacey as she drives up from Balt. A few days earlier and drive out to pick us up at the airport. Please PRAISE the Lord for all the good things He has done. He has been faithful throughout the long 5 year process and His heart for the orphan has been reflected in Joni’s adoption.
Finally, if Joni ever crosses your heart in the future, please pray for all her Chinese brothers and sisters left behind.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Year of the Rabbit
International adoption has its downsides...one of which is the HUGE amount of paperwork it takes to prove your worth as a parent...but it has some really cool things about it too. Like for instance, we now have another culture to graft into our family. A culture that has some pretty cool traditions and some very yummy food. It is important to me that I give our future daughter a sense of her birth culture and that the rest of our family learns about it too. So this year instead of going to get Chinese to celebrate CNY, I invited 11 friends over to join us for a more traditional celebration, complete with lantern and character crafts, eight traditional Chinese dishes (okay so the brownies weren't traditional), red envelopes with candy money, and fireworks (Scott's favorite part... it was kinda strange to see them lit while it's snowing). I even made everyone attempt to use chopsticks...everyone was such a good sport. It was really so much fun and I think a great start to what looks like an awesome year!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A Poem for Waiting Parents
May you be safe and sleep soundly, through the night.
May you be safe as you wake in the morning's light.
May you feel our love from so far away.
May it comfort you and protect you throughout each day.
I will pray for you my little one:
Safe from harm,
Until the child of my heart,
becomes the child in my arms.
May you be safe as you wake in the morning's light.
May you feel our love from so far away.
May it comfort you and protect you throughout each day.
I will pray for you my little one:
Safe from harm,
Until the child of my heart,
becomes the child in my arms.
(I do not know the author's name)
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