Map of China's Provinces

Map of Guangdong Province and location of Qingyuan City

Daughter of the King

"In that moment, time stopped.  It was like God was speaking to me directly, "Mary Beth, you thickheaded woman, do you not understand now that this is the very way I see you?  You are this orphan!  I adopted you and you are Mine!  I bought you for a price!  Do you see how you love this baby?  That's just a faint reflection of how much I love you!  You didn't have a name, and I gave you a name.  You did nothing to deserve my love, and I love you anyway.  You had no hope, no future, and now you are the daughter of the King!  I saw it.  The second she was placed in my arms, I would have fought to the death to protect her.  I loved her with everything inside of me.  "Do you get it now?" God was saying to me.  Under the blanket, this baby wrapped in rags.  She was poor.  She didn't smell good.  She was hungry.  There was nothing about her that had "earned" my love.  But I loved her powerfully, deeply, absolutely.  Period.  I got it.

~Excerpt from "Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman

Referral!

On Thanksgiving night, at 11:45pm, after a day of cooking, cleaning and celebrating the holiday, Scott woke me up to tell me AWAA was on the phone.  I was so surprised (who works on a holiday? my awesome agency does) and immediately knew we were going to be offered a referral to review.  A batch of referrals had come in the prior Monday and when we didn't get a call, I was bummed but very at peace.  After two prior painful declines, Scott and I had finally come into this round feeling connected to each other and centered in our faith.  It felt different right from the beginning and as we were given information about her we both began to realize she was the one for us.  Her name is Wang Yayan and she just turned 11 months old.  Wang is her last/family name and it was probably given to all the children admitted to the orphanage that year.  Yayan is her given name and it means "graceful/elegant/refined" and "gorgeous/colorful".  Her birth date is December 27th, 2009 and that is the most significant birthday on my side of the family being the same as my brother's, uncle's and grandfather's.  She was discovered by a bridge when she was a day old and reported to the civil affair authorities who brought her to the Qingyuan Social Welfare Institute.  The SWI is located in the Guangdong Province in the very south of China.  We sent in electronic acceptance papers on Sat. Nov. 27th (referred to in the adoption community as the Letter of Intent or LOI) and we received the PA (pre-approval) today Dec. 3rd.  Next step, waiting for the RA (referral acceptance) which will hopefully be my Christmas present.  I've been a good girl!  After that we can begin making travel plans and maybe, just maybe, see our daughter in person for the first time in February.

So those are the technical details.  I don't even know how to begin to relate the emotional, mental, spiritual effects this has had on me.  It's times like this I wish I was a writer.  First, I am grateful.  After 3 1/2 years, lots of effort and $$$ we finally get to see the face that makes it all worth it.  That we get to have the honor of parenting this beautiful creation of God is beyond words.  He is so good and I feel loved by Him as never before.  Second, I am profoundly sad.  Although this is exciting for us and a dream come true, this is not the case for Yayan.  In her short life she has known huge challenges and loss and by us adopting her there will be even more, loss of culture, ethnicity, and racial identity.  Thirdly, I feel hope.  Hope that by us adopting her she will be given a better chance at a happy, fulfilling, productive life.  That she will not only have her medical needs taken care of, an education to reach her potential, a group of supportive family members to cheer her on in her life journey, a home to call her own, BUT that she will be able to accept and feel love from God and others.  She will be an orphan no more.  I also have selfish hopes.  That her arrival will effect my family, friends and community in a positive way.  That her life story will reveal the heart of God to me and those around me. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

God Showing Up

When we first began this adoption I was so excited and optimistic. I couldn't wait to bring home a cute little baby girl and watch how the adoption impacted myself, my husband, our family, friends, church, and community. I knew the journey to her would have it's hard moments (after all I AM an adoption professional) but I felt equipped and hopeful that whatever we would face would be overcome with prayer, effort, communication and faith. Then the wait went from 14 months to 20, to 30, to 40 to now 55! I honestly never thought it would get that high and it is still growing. I was perfectly content until about the 40 month mark. Then some discouragement started to set in and fear that this might never happen. Still we pressed on believing that it was all in God's hands. Now that Colston was older we realized that, "hey, we could handle a child with a minor correctable special medical need so why not take a look at some?" Perhaps this was the way we were meant to find our daughter as it was something I had considered from the very beginning. But it has been VERY difficult. Much harder then I could have ever imagined. How do you chose which special needs you can handle? How do you know what you are looking at with each child when the medical information is meager and wrought with translation errors? How do you say "No" to a child whose very life feels like it's in your hands? How do you move on and open your heart up again when the haunting face of an orphan left behind still lingers? I began to get discouraged. This might just be too painful...but I still feel that pull, that conviction that yes, this is what we are supposed to do. I wrestled with God and finally concluded that if this is what it takes to find these children homes then I want to be willing to go through it.

This past weekend we were in Syracuse visiting Scott's parents. They had informed us of a Stephen Curtis Chapman concert going on Friday night in the area. We had already booked them for babysitting since is was our anniversary and we decided to go. I'm not a big fan of his music style but I'm a BIG fan of him. I knew that adoption would be highlighted and that there would be a strong presence of the adoption community there. We didn't have tickets and it was too late to purchase online. We took the chance that there would be some left at the door. On the way there I was praying in my heart that we would get in and that God would show up. I just really wanted my daddy to reach out to me and encourage me to let me know that He was still in this and would carry us through this hard time. As I was paying for my tickets the lady said $37 each please...which was a $9 increase from what the article had listed. Sigh. Not a big deal but I was already wondering if we should be shelling out so much for an unnecessary concert when we were saving money to complete an adoption. I handed her a $100 bill and just then a man came up and said he has two tickets to donate. The ticket lady looks at him, takes the tickets and gives them to me. I was so overcome with gratitude I started tearing up. I'm not sure if I even thanked the man properly, I just mumbled something about how appreciative I was since we were saving money for an upcoming adoption. I'm not typically very emotional (though more so this last year for sure) but I was weepy all night. I had asked God to show up and He did! Sure you could say it wasn't God, just a generous man but it really didn't feel that way to me. It felt like God saying, "Lynne, I see you. I know the storm in your heart. I care and you can trust me."

So that's where I am. In a place of trusting God and it feels right and safe. I don't know how long this journey will last but I know my father is with me.  For me that's enough.

By the way, the concert was great.  They are truly an inspiring, authentic and talented family.  Their sons are now in a band called "Caleb" which is more reflective of my style of music. Their orphan care foundation "Show Hope" is doing some pretty amazing things so check out their site when you get a chance.  We will always be indebted to them for their assistance in our adoption. 

Fall Greetings

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Collecting Wishes

To welcome new life, a tradition exists in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei (100 good wishes quilt). Family and friends are invited to contribute a square of cloth along with a good wish for the baby. The squares of cloth are all sewn together into a quilt, and the good wishes are put into a scrapbook for the child. The quilt symbolizes wrapping the child in the good wishes of family and friends.

If you'd like to help me out, here’s what you need to do:

1.Choose a 100% cotton fabric that you like. It can come from a quilting or fabric store, fabric you already have, or something that is special to you like an old piece of significant clothing, etc.
2.Wash the material if it is new to let it shrink before it is cut.
3.Cut a square measuring about 8" by 8"
4.Write your wish for the baby. The wish can be your own words or thoughts, a favorite poem or quote, a blessing, a prayer, or a favorite scripture—whatever keepsake words you would like her to have from you. From these, I will compile a scrapbook for her. A picture of you or your family would be appreciated as well.

Thanks in advance for your participation! I cannot wait to introduce her to all of you and to explain how each of you helped to bring her home through your prayers and support.