Monday

More shopping this afternoon but we are officially done with all of that.  It was fun for a little while but just like back home I get tired of it quickly.  Plus we're out of spending money.  We just keep saying how we are bringing home the best thing in China anyways.  The dry weather continued today and we are grateful for that.  Joni seemed to take a step back with daddy today.  We have no idea why but she was really fearful/frettful when he came near to her in the hotel room, though she was fine when he held her outside.  I think this is normal in the bonding process but it makes me sad to see that she still doesn't understand how much her daddy adores her.  He has a good attitude about  it, maybe I will get him to post tomorrow.  I know everyone would like to hear from him.

Sunday's Events

It's 7:30 am here in Guangzhou.  The good news is yesterday there was no rain and it was actually bright for a time.  Most of our paperwork/tasks for the adoption are complete until we go to pick up her US Visa.  So we spent the day shopping at Shamain Island (a small island that used to be occupied by French/British that has all the touristy markets, western buildings, & food).  After Joni's nap we explored this huge park near out hotel.  It might even be bigger then Central Park.  It was very beautiful and I hope to go back again before we leave.  Scott and I clocked a lot of miles on foot and since Joni freaks out in the stroller I held her in my front carrier.  She's only 18 lbs. but after a while even that gets heavy so please pray for my back.  Thankfully she feels comfortable with Scott holding her now so we cane take turns.  Today we do some more shopping but I'm not sure what else we have planned.  Although we are trying to enjoy each minute here in this wonderful country, we are really missing home and our family.  I wish the kids could be here with us but I know this time devoted solely to Joni is really beneficial to her.  It is best she bonds with both of us and feels comfortable in our care before we bring her into the craziness of Oakley and Colston sibling-love.
Still we are feeling ready to leave and look forward to the day we are all snuggling together on our couch at home.

pictures

Getting to Know Her

Today we went to get Joni's Visa photos and conduct her medical exam.  Like all the children she hated being touched and looked at by strangers but all in all it wasn't too traumatic.  Afterwards went went shopping for baby items and then in the late afternoon Scott reported to our guide's room where he filled out all the needed US Visa paperwork (I had to stay back for Joni's nap).  Tonight we had a big group dinner  at the Japanese restaurant and got to have have sushi two nights in a row! 

Joni continues to bond and blossom.  We are beginning to figure her out, so far we've learned that....she DOES NOT like strollers (probably had never been in one before yesterday), she likes animal crackers, she does not like fruit, she likes oatmeal, she does not like getting her diaper changed, she likes combing her own hair, she does not like her bath, she likes snuggling, she does not like ice cream or lollipops, she does like zerberts and being tickled.  It has been so neat to discover these things and there is do much more to come!

My Hero

Yesterday we went to the Guangzhou Zoo, watched cheesy 80's movies (for some reason that is all HBO plays here), and I got sushi for dinner.  Sounds like a normal day but some pretty amazing stuff happened along the way.  I've heard that Joni's orphanage is filled with mostly special needs children, some pretty severe.  I'd imagine a sweet, laid-back child like her got overlooked and assumptions were made that since her SN isn't severe that she was doing fine.  I can see though that Joni wasn't doing fine.  Joni doesn't know how to receive or give true love.  Even when I observed her with the caregivers I could tell they required her to perform in order to get their adulation.  When Joni came to us if we made direct eye contact with her she would look down.  When she was afraid (which generally meant when Scott came close) she would hold her arm over her face and make her self comforting sucking sound or itch her face and neck.  She arched her back when we held her.  She didn't smile or make any noises. Her cries were few and pathetic, as if she had no expectation that they would elicit any response from us.  She did not express one need or want.  She could not feed herself Cheerios.  I realize some of this was due to the transition but I really believe some of this is due to the fact she has never known the consistent and unconditional love of a parent.  In just five days of having us she is like a flower blooming before our eyes.  Joni laughed for the first time yesterday.  Before when I tickled her she would smile but make no noise, it was very strange.  Now she laughs.  Joni more then a few times crawled over to me to be on my lap.  I spent a whole hour just holding her like an infant as she looked at me and I stroked her hands/face/legs/tummy/arms.  It occurred to me that she had never had this experience before as I doubt any nanny had one hour to devote solely to holding her.  Joni said the word, "da da" and "ma" and I think the Chinese word for nose.  These were the first vocalizations we heard.  Joni let her daddy hold her and even gave him a few half smiles for his efforts during playtime.  These are big advancements and they are happening so quickly when you take in all she has been through.  She really is amazing and my hero.

trip to orphanage

Qingyuan Social Welfare Institute Visit

So we went to the Qingyuan City SWI today. It took a little over an hour by car. We took pictures of the outside of the building, which is very large and actually a series of buildings and courtyards. Although it is a rainy day today you can tell it's a bright and good facility. They escorted us into a conference room and the two male directors spoke to us about the orphanage (that it was built in 1998, there are over 90 staff, there are plans to move into a new facility (I got pictures of those buildings as well), just stuff like that. They offered us fruit and tea. Then the head caretaker lady (didn't get her name) came in and tried to answer our questions (frankly, I wish I could have gotten more detailed information). But the real gem was that a half dozen or so nannies came down and boy did Joni's face light up! She was obviously loved by the staff and had a very special bond with one of the "half the sky" grannies who just got her to smile and laugh and do rhyming and motion games. It was really neat to see Joni in this mood and see her at her most happy. I almost would have been convinced that she was better off with them except for the fact no matter who had her she strained to look for me and came back to me very easily. No tears after our goodbyes. We got a lot of great photos and videos of her with the caretakers. They kept saying how "lovely" and "smart" she is, we couldn't agree more.


Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to go into any other rooms or see any other children. They gave the excuse that the kids were all napping and they didn't want to pass germs.  I was really hoping to meet some of her friends and see were she lived her first year of life.  So although the trip has some disappointments, there were enough highlights to make it worth the time and money. 

I wasn't as emotional as I thought I might be.  Maybe it was because I didn't get to see the faces of those children left behind.  Maybe it was because of the inner joy it brought me to see that Joni preferred going with us.  The most emotional I felt was seeing Joni's sweet face when her special "grandma" came out and played with her.  I was so grateful that she was loved by someone.  I also thought about how hard it must be for these caretakers to invest their efforts and love onto each child and see them leave, knowing they won't remember them or anything about their native land.  It's a job that requires a lot of sacrifice to do well.

All in all I got more smiles, giggles, and snuggles from Joni today.  Scott is making slow progress but still has a good attitude.  Secretly I am glad to have this time with her when I don't have to share her (or myself) with anyone.