Good Days!

The last month has been really good.  In fact I started to chart "bad days" (defined as Joni being distant, mean to Colston, fearful, self reliant and mommy being short fused, annoyed, not gentle, and not concerned with actions that promote attachment) and we had only two this month...TWO!  That's awesome and Joni got sick one of those days so that explains one of the those days and my cycle could have had something to do with the other day.  This is really exciting for me.  Not only that but Joni has really begun to show her true personality to my family and friends without inhibitions.  This is such a blessing because I have had the pleasure of knowing her silliness and intellect but it means so much to me that others can now see her too.  People who have loved and prayed and supported us through our journey especially.  I finally feel like we are at the "other end".  This last week a friend who I met over the Internet was in China adopting her daughter from the same orphanage as Joni.  Her blog and photos brought back a ton of memories.  On one hand their trip made me sentimental and even wistful for that moment when we were handed Joni.  On the other hand I don't envy the next couple of weeks/months/even years they will have to adjust.  Not all stories are the same but the year and a half after bringing Joni home was the hardest of my life and there were some really dark moments.  But today I can't imagine life or our family without her, I experience huge regret even thinking for a second about reversing our decision to adopt.  We all LOVE Joni and Joni LOVES us.  This is so beautiful and came about like a miracle, a miracle I doubted at times but was granted by God's grace none the less.