Another corner turned...

Hope continues to grow in my heart the past few weeks.  Joni has definitely changed in a positive way, not drastically but a subtle settling, like the way a new house does.  I can tell she has reached a level of comfort but the signs are only things I as her mom would pick up...she smiles a little more, she's a little less fearful, she's getting out of her toddler bed when she's ready, she's chatting to herself at night, her displays of emotion seem a little more genuine less dramatic, and she even...for the very first time...gave me a hug spontaneously (not much pressure but some!).  It was magical.  I too am feeling some subtle changes, hard to explain except that things feel normal again and my love and connection to Joni has grown stronger.  When Joni demanded so much of my attention I was so ready to have breaks, now when we are apart I miss her a little.  Sometimes at night I have these urges to check on my kids, just to watch them sleeping and take in their scent and let that overwhelming feeling of wonder-love flood into my heart.  I never felt that urge with Joni until now.

We still have a road to travel on our journey.  I think more corners are in our future but I am so grateful for where we are.  I pray one day Joni and I will reach an incredible level of connection that comes easily, naturally.  She deserves that from a mom and we've worked hard for it.