Referral!

On Thanksgiving night, at 11:45pm, after a day of cooking, cleaning and celebrating the holiday, Scott woke me up to tell me AWAA was on the phone.  I was so surprised (who works on a holiday? my awesome agency does) and immediately knew we were going to be offered a referral to review.  A batch of referrals had come in the prior Monday and when we didn't get a call, I was bummed but very at peace.  After two prior painful declines, Scott and I had finally come into this round feeling connected to each other and centered in our faith.  It felt different right from the beginning and as we were given information about her we both began to realize she was the one for us.  Her name is Wang Yayan and she just turned 11 months old.  Wang is her last/family name and it was probably given to all the children admitted to the orphanage that year.  Yayan is her given name and it means "graceful/elegant/refined" and "gorgeous/colorful".  Her birth date is December 27th, 2009 and that is the most significant birthday on my side of the family being the same as my brother's, uncle's and grandfather's.  She was discovered by a bridge when she was a day old and reported to the civil affair authorities who brought her to the Qingyuan Social Welfare Institute.  The SWI is located in the Guangdong Province in the very south of China.  We sent in electronic acceptance papers on Sat. Nov. 27th (referred to in the adoption community as the Letter of Intent or LOI) and we received the PA (pre-approval) today Dec. 3rd.  Next step, waiting for the RA (referral acceptance) which will hopefully be my Christmas present.  I've been a good girl!  After that we can begin making travel plans and maybe, just maybe, see our daughter in person for the first time in February.

So those are the technical details.  I don't even know how to begin to relate the emotional, mental, spiritual effects this has had on me.  It's times like this I wish I was a writer.  First, I am grateful.  After 3 1/2 years, lots of effort and $$$ we finally get to see the face that makes it all worth it.  That we get to have the honor of parenting this beautiful creation of God is beyond words.  He is so good and I feel loved by Him as never before.  Second, I am profoundly sad.  Although this is exciting for us and a dream come true, this is not the case for Yayan.  In her short life she has known huge challenges and loss and by us adopting her there will be even more, loss of culture, ethnicity, and racial identity.  Thirdly, I feel hope.  Hope that by us adopting her she will be given a better chance at a happy, fulfilling, productive life.  That she will not only have her medical needs taken care of, an education to reach her potential, a group of supportive family members to cheer her on in her life journey, a home to call her own, BUT that she will be able to accept and feel love from God and others.  She will be an orphan no more.  I also have selfish hopes.  That her arrival will effect my family, friends and community in a positive way.  That her life story will reveal the heart of God to me and those around me. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11