Another low key day today. We were able to sleep in for the first time and after breakfast we went on an outing. We took a cab (that cost less then 2$ for a 15 min. ride) to the Chen Family Home, which is a fully restored ancestral home with a relic museum inside of it. It was pretty cool and a perfect thing to do in the rain. We met back up with our guide and the other AW family to go a different government building so we could apply for Joni's Chinese passport. That is the last of the adoption paperwork tasks we have until Friday. We ordered Papa John's pizza tonight along with the other AW family and ate together in their hotel room. It was Joni's first play date! She is doing well though I felt it was a one step forward, two steps back kind of day. I was really able to get some laughs out of her and discovered she can (and likes to) walk holding one hand. But I felt for most of the day that she was pretty sad and still scared. I just wish I knew what was going on in that head of hers. My mommy's heart aches for her to feel secure and loved by us both and to be able to take away any anxiety. I know that it will come with time.
Tomorrow we take a trip to visit her orphanage. I have no idea what to expect but I'm grateful for the opportunity.
Thank you all for your comments here on the blog, on Facebook, texts, and e-mails...it really encourages Scott and I so much to feel all your support. A quick shout out to a few people...Happy Birthday to Aunt Stacey, can't wait to see you at the airport...thanks Uncle Keify for posting all the pics!.....Meg, I hope to give your daughter a big HUG and KISS from you, I'll be sure to whisper in her ear that her family loves her very much and will come to get her soon!.....Maureen, thanks for your advice, I did cut the hole bigger and it helped.
Blessings to you all!
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Lynne,
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your latest post, I couldn't help but remember Developmental Psychologist Erik Erikson....The very first stage of development Trust Vs. Mistrust. Following is an excerpt of the basic tenets of this theory. I think the most important thing you can do is to slowly continue to develop your relationship with her until she is in the trust phase. Small steps... This will take time. In her pictures, she looks worried and scared. She has no idea what is happening and why she is with new people. Her whole world has shifted and changed. She lacks the language to express her feelings. Basically, your job (and Scott's) is to reassure her that she is safe..that the world is now safe for her because she has parents that will protect her and that she is loved. I can see you guys doing all of that already. So time will be the variable that will make the biggest change in her. Hope this helps. My heart goes out to her and her anxiousness...and to you guys and your anxiousness for her. Lynne, from what you are writing she is really doing amazing....OK..Pizza Hut and Papa John's???? I'm looking forward to your next post already!!!!
1. Infancy: Birth to 18 Months
Ego Development Outcome: Trust vs. Mistrust
Basic strength: Drive and Hope
Erikson also referred to infancy as the Oral Sensory Stage (as anyone might who watches a baby put everything in her mouth) where the major emphasis is on the mother's positive and loving care for the child, with a big emphasis on visual contact and touch. If we pass successfully through this period of life, we will learn to trust that life is basically okay and have basic confidence in the future. If we fail to experience trust and are constantly frustrated because our needs are not met, we may end up with a deep-seated feeling of worthlessness and a mistrust of the world in general.
Not surprisingly, the most significant relationship is with the maternal parent, or whoever is our most significant and constant caregiver.
So pleased you guys got some sleep..Maybe the rain is giving you guys a chance to "snuggle in" and love on Joni. Praying for your visit tomorrow. When we started the adoption process, I felt like I could not bear to see the orphanage and all the children left behind, or what my daughter had to endure prior to her adoption--that my heart could not bear such pain/loss/grief. Now, I want to visit the SWI to give thanks to the ones that have loved on our little girl, to see in person the little faces that I am praying for to have a forever family, to have the experience/photos to give to our daughter one day so that she has a connection to her home country. It is amazing how God has changed my heart to want to engage in the suffering of those little ones. But the loss and grief of not knowing her mom and dad will forever be with us. Adoption has joy and grief--loss of a family and gain of a family--the emotions are from one end to the other BUT God is in every step of the journey.. Holding the parents and children in His hand..
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
meg